Post-Thesis Proposal Defense… Freedom…

I am relieved. I feel free. I am extremely grateful to God. I feel happy.

It seems like yesterday when I last posted here. I remember being troubled by a lot of things like the ranking, subjects, teachers, career, and finally, THESIS.

Yesterday was a critical moment for me. I was really nervous. October 9: Thesis Proposal Defense. It was also the day of our Spanish final exam. Although too late, I also realized that the day is actually my baptism anniversary.

For the past months, my thesis mate and I were really pressured and weak because we do not have a framework yet, and we do not have an adviser yet. Also, our PLDT DSL was so uncooperative.

During those times, many things happened as well in our other subjects, but they are merely blurred images now as I write this. These events include the core course week, Bush41-Bush43 term paper, Spanish shirt, a MAE-audienced toxic waste forum, UPLAE review, non-church-going, reports in IO, Spanish homeworks, de-stressing Theo sessions, and painful dysmenorrhea days. We also had our gradpic (with a toga, filipiniana and my creative: medieval princess). We had our senate trip, I also spoke at the Sofitel event. Due to my busy schedule, I also stopped taking driving lessons with my father. Sundays became LAE review days. No-own-laptop days kept rubbing in (gee, thanks for rubbing it in, AD), as I envy that white neo mini. No-ipod envy also somehow attacks.

All of these were just blurs because we all became clouded with a major concern: THESIS. Everyday, in everything we do, we think of thesis. Anyway, back to my story of the pressured, clueless, and desperate days… We finished the RRL but failed to see any gap. We submitted it just for the sake of submitting it. We had framework-hopping situations, from analysis-of-critical-incidents theory, to constructivist/cognitive dissonance, to actor-network theory, then finally, theory of hegemony. Neo-MCLibrary visits were frequent, as well as until-6pm-dismissal times. We were almost convinced with the cognitive dissonance after the consultation with an ex-neda prof, while being questioned at the data. When we consulted the superstar prof, we were led to another direction. We tried actor-network on ex-neda by Sept 15 but we were disappointed even more with the weakness of the framework. It was a depressing moment, but we had to move on. Pride being hurt, we had to look for another framework. The strategy of our favoritist prof on RRLs is really ineffective. A hate movement is really emerging underground. The pets of this prof are unaffected. After all, they are the pets of a good friend of the favoritist, who is another favoritist. The only difference we have with the pets is that they are the pets and they have an adviser. As for us, we had to do it on our own. We preferred to strengthen our proposal before seeking for an adviser. Unfortunately, the strengthening phase took us long enough, that in the end, after finishing our rough draft, it was only then that we had the courage to seek an adviser. Everything in that draft was not consulted nor approved by any professor. We were desperate with the ex-neda prof. In the end, it was the superstar who saw our potential. Nobody else did. We were grateful. Sept 29 was a roller-coaster ride from down to up. Our hearts were overwhelmed that we were accepted by a superstar. Who needs an ex-neda adviser when we can have a superstar adviser. The goddess adviser also accepted us. Dilemma. But we had to decide and after rationalizing the pros and cons, we really chose the superstar. It was highly applauded by our friends. We realized that we were actually brave enough to ask for the advice of a superstar. Nobody else did. We were encouraged even more. The challenge was we only had a week to seek advice. The superstar, being in Latin America during those times, had to sneak an editing time in her horario. It took her long, but the researchers made it to the deadliest deadline. Although still unsatisfied with the proposal, we really had to defend it. Defense day came, too many revisions, but it was a success. We got a high pass (although the lowest in the high pass level), which nobody else did before us (I don’t know anymore about the succeeding ones). Panelists MJA, GJ/UJ, and IL (goddess) + coor FJ were considerate enough. Still, I am happy. I simply feel relieved. I can’t explain. God simply gave me a wonderful anniversary gift. I realized it only now. I can’t believe that being the last to have a framework, being the most unfrequent consulter, and being one of the last to have an adviser, we actually made it. We got a high pass. The only thing I am worrying about is that the defense is merely 40%. The 60% will only come from the favoritist prof. Deadlines, visibility, and quality RRLs, good writing skills, and PR, are her major indicators. May God just intervene in all the grade decisions. I really did badly in my finals and term paper. I hope the professors are considerate enough to give me a high grade. I hope I will be able to make it again on the list. I hope MK and BA won’t topple me down. Oh God, pls help me.

It does not end with the proposal defense. I still have a lot of things to accomplish.
Thesis proposal revision
Thesis data and writing proper, and defense
UPLAE
Vx skill maintenance
Grade and Ranking maintenance

Hmmm, what else… Indeed lots of things still. It is just the beginning. Although I cannot deny that getting through the proposal stage was a huge relief.

For now, I am relajada. I am also extremely happy and thankful. May God bless me always, now, and forever… So help me God.