Pessimism and Vacation

My back aches. I am stressed over the vx. I hate Thursdays. From passion and hobby to hated thing. I’ve finished Left Behind and about to finish the Tribulation Force.

My grades turned out fine. But not well enough to reach my goal. It seems that God has finally given me my first trial. I hope that I could face it well. I hate my bio prof. I’ve listed her as my fav but she betrayed me! I can’t find her anymore these days because it’s already sembreak. I’m starting to lose hope. All I need is to consult and clarify!

I have enrolled and realized that as I move higher to the next level, my schedule and my grades turn worse. I hope and pray that this sem, the said realization won’t be true anymore. I already have my Saturday classes and I still have days of classes till 6! O God please please help me! I should do better this sem! I will make sure that I will do better than what I have done last 1-1.

I feel so depressed and frustrated right now. It is my first time to not have my name on the list and to not walk up on stage to receive the envelope. I am also getting ready not having to receive the hs again next year. 140T to go. Where can I get those? Will I get those? Will I even ever reach CL, MCL or SCL?

I guess my mantras last sem didn’t work that well enough. I hope it will this coming sem. I need to get back my optimistic self!

Although my sembreak wasn’t that enjoyable as what I expected, I am still hoping that it will get better these last 2 weeks. So help me God!

Rest and Relaxation Level: 30%

This week was quite unproductive for me, although I was finally able to sleep well as compared to my schooldays. I was able to surf the net and play in the computer and watch tv, daydream and read books as long as I want. Unfortunately, I caught the same sickness ensemble, the colds-sorethroat-cough ensemble. It was probably the effect of the no-sleep-days of the previous weeks and finally triggered when the awfully dusty and dirty storage room was dug up and ‘cleaned’ and ‘fixed’. Although I still sleep late, it was because of netsurfing or watching movies or reading a pocketbook. In fact, I am beginning to finally read Left Behind.

Yesterday, I went to my extra-curricular activity/ passion/ hobby which I ‘abandoned’ for four months due to my adjustment and depression period last semester. The teacher was finally new and my previous teacher has resigned, I think. The teacher was good but too fast and expecting. I have to reach his level and meet his expectations. Although difficult at first, I know I can do it. Please help me God! I want to bring back the usual vx enthusiast me!

So far, I can say that my vacation/ sembreak is good. I just hope that the next few weeks will turn out to be productive rather than wasted.

Also, I hope that my colds, sorethroat and cough will vanish. Please heal me God!

God, please also help me with my grades! Next Monday will be our judgment day (issuance of grades) and I hope that I won’t be disappointed. I hope I will reach my goal… Please God… help…

Killer Week and Finally, Freedom!

Wheew! Last week was one hell of a week!

Our vehicle bumped into another vehicle as we were about to get to the church last Oct 2. It was my first time to ride a vehicle which actually bumped another. Usually, it was us who were bumped. This time, it was our driver’s fault.

The next day, despite the fact that our take home finals was given almost a week ago, I still crammed in doing it! I did the exam in the morning of submission and submitted the exam in the afternoon. It was a rush exam! I reached school and checked the biodoor… and voila! I am exempted from the written final exam of bio! Thank God! I just had only one written exam to review for—eco. I waited for my least fav prof, THE wciv prof and asked her to sign my exam pass.

Good thing we didn’t have to revise our research and so I dodn’t have to bother going to school to submit the paper. Only one of my groupmates did because she still haven’t had her exam pass signed. I had to go to school on Wednesday to have my exam pass signed for bio. Tuesday and Thursday—no classes or going to school for me, yey! What I did on those remaining days was my newsletter. It was given to us since June and almost everyone only bothered to do it just on the week of submission.

I thought that the newsletter writing would be the hardest part. I was wrong… The layouting and printing were the hardest tasks after all. Imagine, I started writing my articles last Monday and finished the articles last Thursday afternoon. The logo was not yet done on that time. The layout was pre-layouted in the MS Publisher. 12 midnight and I still have the trouble printing. Apparently, the MS Publisher doesn’t want to print in half-fold legal size. It was 3 am already and I still can’t print well. It was only at 4 am when I decided to copy and paste the work in MS Word. Copying and pasting was not an easy job. Once you commit one mistake, you have to repeat everything. The newsletter was finally finished at 6:30 am. I slept. I still haven’t reviewed for the eco finals on that afternoon. I woke up at 10 am and arrived in school at 12. I reviewed for eco with a classmate and shared to her my newsletter experiences. I was not satisfied with my work. Although I can say that it was good enough, I was still expecting better than that, but I can’t change back the time and do something. It was done. I had to accept it.

The eco exam was definitely easier the prelim. After the exam, we did the souvenir video for our prof regarding the newsletter and the sem. It was fun, although I was in a hurry so my words were really just too fast blabbers. After chatting about the tbs on nov with my classmates, I finally went home, with my accomplished exam pass and the last issue of the complimentary asian wall street journal that I can bring home during the sem.

My first sem has finally ended and I can say that it happened in a blink of an eye. Despite the struggles and tears and bloodshed, the sem has ended, and the feeling was good… Thank God…

Today, I woke up early to go to CCC, Quiapo and finally got immersed and finally became BA and God’s child. It was spectacular and magical! I felt so blessed and fortunate! The feeling was rather unexplainable by words and all I can say is that I can now be proud to say that I am one of them and they really made me feel so accepted… Yey! I love God! Thank you very much God for the wonderful, fulfilling semester and for the wonderful, holy day today. I’m so happy!
Freedom!!! Freedom from school, from papers, from teachers, from pressures, and from sins. Time to celebrate!!!